How to Improve without Change

I once cured my lifelong phobia of spiders by moving to Australia. When I stepped off the plane in Sydney, my phobia was instantly transformed into a rational fear!

I improved my condition without having to change anything about myself. As absurd as that sounds, you would be surprised how often people ask me how to do the same for themselves.

I was coaching a group of salespeople recently when one asked how to get meetings with C-level executive buyers. His habit was to meet with low-level gatekeepers tasked with collecting proposals to pass on to their superiors, who ultimately decided. Whenever the salesperson asked for an introduction to the boss, the gatekeepers always demurred.

So I explained several ways to avoid gatekeepers and come into contact with C-level executives. I created a scenario with his colleagues and performed a role play to demonstrate how to talk with a C-level executive to get a business meeting. I then performed a role-play of the meeting and demonstrated how to negotiate and close business.

The salesperson was furious. He accused me of wasting his time. He insisted that in Japan, he could not do any of the things I suggested, even though I had plenty of evidence of other salespeople in Japan having done so successfully.

He demanded to know how he could get his gatekeeper counterparts to introduce him to senior executives, which he incorrectly insisted was the only viable way to meet executives in Japan.

“You just told me that your way has never worked,” I said. “I take you at your word. I have shown you several alternatives.”

He admonished me to get real and stormed out of the room.

The remaining salespeople looked around at each other, bemused by their colleague’s display of excessive bravado. One finally looked at me and said, “Steve, this is interesting. I had never considered an alternative way of doing things. I want to know more.”

Reality is what remains when what you once believed has gone away.

If reality bothers you, you can always try moving to Australia, but I don’t think that will help.