Never Presume Attitude

Years ago, I moved to Paris, started a business, and hired a French woman to help me with marketing. Early on, she and I met with a prospective customer, a vice president at a major publishing firm. I spoke and understood French but lacked the confidence to hold a business meeting in French at the time. So I let my new hire do the talking—and immediately regretted it.

The vice president was skeptical of what we had to offer. My marketing manager diligently addressed his concerns. The vice president further criticized us and scoffed at our presumptions. My marketing manager argued back, her fervor growing. The vice president, indignant, pushed back even harder, his voice rising in volume, eyes wide, practically spitting his increasingly rebarbative invectives—or at least that is how it sounded to me. My marketing manager reflected the same language and tone. I looked on aghast as the arguing reached a crescendo, my head swiveling between the two belligerents. Then, the vice president stopped talking. He waved his hand dismissively. The meeting was over.

I was beside myself as we exited the building and walked down the street. I was already devising how to tell my newly hired employee she was fired when she interrupted my thoughts.

“That went pretty well!” she remarked without a hint of sarcasm. I stopped and turned to look at her.

“What are you talking about? That was awful! The two of you were practically screaming at each other!”

“Ah, Steve. You misunderstand. That means he was interested!” she said with a grin.

I shook my head in disbelief and continued walking, but she was right. A week later, we had the contract.

Never presume attitude based on observed behavior alone.

Years later after starting my consulting business in Japan, the global CEO of a French company with major operations in Japan hired me to conduct a global strategy session in France in which half the participants were French and the other half Japanese. There was bound to be contention between the two teams.

At the start of the first session, the global CEO introduced me to the group saying something I had never heard a French person say before nor since.

“The thing that I like the most about Steve is that he American!” he asserted. “Steve is neither Japanese nor French, but he understands us both!”

It was a nice compliment, but understanding both the French and the Japanese is only of secondary importance. True international business capability is about rapid learning in the moment, not about understanding in advance.

The most talented international business leaders I know are successful despite little or no understanding about the cultures or languages of the people with whom the do business. They learn on the fly.

During the global strategy session in France, I coached the Japanese in what I had learned about the French. Never to assume confrontation on the part of the French to be a sign of disapproval, anger, or disagreement. Ideas with merit should be able to withstand vigorous debate. Confrontation is often a sign of interest and a way of stress-testing an idea.

I coached the French what I had learned about the Japanese. Never to assume the silence of the Japanese to be a sign of disinterest, disapproval, or lack of understanding. A pause in Japanese conversation to allow time to think is neither unusual nor awkward. Don’t talk. Let people think.

Yet the most important advice I gave is applicable always, anywhere, anytime, with anyone, no matter the country or the culture.

Never presume attitude based on observed behavior alone. Always ask what your counterparts are thinking and why. What they tell you might surprise you. This is what the most successful international business leaders I know do. You should too.